Royters:
Go check out my new Royters piece. I have an exclusive on the A-Rod divorce.
Cunt House:
I don’t think I mentioned it, but the sellers of the house accepted our counter offer & the inspections are scheduled for Wednesday. YAY! There will be room for my porn, sex swings, & stripper pole.
Pregnancy Pilates:
Kicks my ass!
The Adventures of Candy McBitichie & Trashy BFF continues:
ANGRYGINGER:
First AngryGinger has a new post up. He/She gives thanks to two more Super Cool Blogging Buddies & he/she retells the story of the Peeping Tom Doctor.
ROYTERS:
I want to plug Royters again. I’m really enjoying this. I’m surprised considering AngryTurd came up with it. You don’t need real news when you have Royters.
Sara Sue’s Meme:
So Sara Sue has this meme to put up a picture of your local library. I don’t want to plug my current library because it sucks & I only have a few weeks here in this town. I don’t want to put up a picture of my soon to be current library, because I don’t want my future city to be revealed. So I’m going to put up two of my favorite libraries of places I’ve lived.
The Downtown Charleston Library:
This library rocks. It’s well designed & it had a pretty good DVD selection. I never checked out books there, because I was in college at the time & used my college library for books. I enjoyed walking or riding my bike down Calhoun Street just to see what was new. The library workers were nice. They weren’t the anti-depressant addicts that work at my current library. They suck & need to learn to smile.
My Childhood Library
This was the library in the town I grew up in. When I was real little, it was an elementary school. My Older Brother went to kindergarten there since the Catholic school didn’t have a kindergarten at the time. The orginal library was in an old plantantion home that I can’t find a picture of. When a new elementary was built, the library moved from the plantation home to there. The plantation home became a museum. My only memories are of this library not the plantation library. My Ma would take me there & the librarians would watch me in the kids section while my Ma picked out her books. It’s pretty neat building, but it doesn’t have a great collection of books.
So today was the day we were going to find out if AngryGinger is an AngrySheGinger or an AngryHeGinger. So do you know what we found out? That the baby must not be mine. Why? The baby was shy. AngryGinger is working on a rant about not liking Peeping Tom Doctors, but the truth is my baby is a prude. The baby had his/her legs close together so not to show his/her junk. The good news is that everything is very healthy & in the right place. I was really looking forward to finding out, but my kid is already telling me who’s boss. So maybe my kid is Tony Danza. So if AngryGinger is a girl, CockMaster should be happy because she will be prude who won’t have sex until she’s 40.
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So I was surfing the web looking for porn or hot chicks to brighten up my day after coming to terms with my prudish baby. I came across the Topless Soccer champs, Austria. Here’s a slide show of the tournament. I love soccer.
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While Sara Sue is suffering through the wild fires of Cali, I came across this & I thought of her.
UPDATE: I have a new Royters article up.
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So the other night we decided to walk down to the movie theater to see a movie. I had spent all day Saturday sleeping, & CockMaster studied & made flash cards all day. Yes I’m lazy, but I’m baking bread inside of me or making a baby, whatever. We had been out late the night before at one of the two bars in town & an outdoor concert so I slept on the futon with my right hand on my boob & my left hand on my crotch with my mouth open. So this is a small town with a tiny downtown movie theater with three small screens so our choices in movies were The Incredible Hulk, Wall-E, & Get Smart. So we decided to see Hulk. We didn’t get a chance to see Iron Man unless we wanted to drive an hour to go see it. We wished we had because everyone said Iron Man kicked ass & was better than the Hulk.
We are standing in line & in front of us are four young highschoolers or old middleschoolers. They weren’t being loud or dressed in goth way or something that would normally piss me off. I was just annoyed by them. They were pissing me off by just being young pimply teenagers. I also hoped they were not going to the same movie as us. I know I will see them with their damn cell phone glowing light while they are texting the kid next to them.
So when they paid & walked inside. I said to CockMaster, “I don’t know why, but those kids pissed me off. They weren’t doing anything. They just annoyed the shit out of me.”
CockMaster said, “Yeah I was annoyed too. We are just old.”
So the snot nose pimple face kids were in the same movie as us & they did have their cell phones on texting so the the glowing light could be seen by everyone behind them. At one point they started giggling uncontrolbly over something they probably texted. CockMaster got furious. I noticed his jaw got set. His body got tensed. His blue eyes were a blazing with rage. He started to get up. Oh shit he’s going to speak to them. I pulled at his arm to sit back down.
He whispered, “I have to tell those fuckers to shut the hell up. I paid a lot of money to see this not hear them giggle.”
I replied, “But it will cause more drama & distraction for everyone else if you do anything. They will probably also piss in their pants.” CockMaster would tower over these kids.
The giggling eventually stopped & CockMaster’s jaw, body, & eyes returned to normal.
Yes I am old, & I hate teenagers.
So I haven’t felt very creative this week. I think I will feel better once the housing contract is all done. They had a counter offer & we had a counter counter offer. We are almost there to reaching an agreement. It’s nothing major just a little give & take. I realized I’m not good at the stress of negotiations. I can think of strategies of what to bid etc, but dealing with the waiting (one day) & negotiations are stressful. I remember when we were sued by the scum landlords & I was so stressed no matter that we were in the right. After all the stress of the trail, when the judge ruled in our favor I felt such a tremendous high. I could never be a lawyer. CockMaster had the adrenaline pumping. I just wanted to run away.
I’m also dealing a lot with work. My boss was hyperventilating yesterday. I had to calm her down & talk to her that everything will be okay. We’ve also been having more talks about my work after the baby. She said, “We will dangle as many carrots in front of to make you stay.” Should I take this as a good thing being compared to a rabbit or a horse or something that desires carrots?
So we are putting an offer on a house. We’re getting a quote from a contractor about putting central air in which should only be about $5,000-$6,000 at most $8,000 which isn’t bad. There’s no duct work, but with an attic & a basement it should be fine. I expect the inspections to be fine. It’s actually really exciting. For one thing the market analysis…hehe anal ysis, valued the house much higher with the neighborhood & size of the house. So we are getting a good deal because it doesn’t have CA & the seller is really motivated. Every house we looked at, I didn’t care for I could only think about this one. It fits us.
So AngryGinger this will hopefully be the home where you are going to learn to crawl & walk. Don’t worry Cash, there will be a doggy door, & the dog park is near by.
So I think pregnancy zaps my brain cells. My to do list is very long, & it’s not because I’m not feeling well. I’m feeling great. I just don’t want to do anything. My concentration is missing. Where the fuck did it go? Oh well, what was I typing about?
It’s actually pretty cool to have this little baby bump. My friend says it’s not a bump it just looks like I haven’t taken a dump in a while. Another friend said that she looks like me after Thanksgiving dinner. I’m starting to feel Angry Ginger move. He/she is not a big fan when I’m at the gym. I feel him/her the most during that time. I think the kid is going to be a couch potato. I’m not doing anything strenuous at the gym, but the kid must be lazy.
That Weird AL Yankovic clip I linked reminded of the “Like the Surgeon” video that my siblings & I parody back in the day. My Daddy is a gadget freak & he bought this huge ass video camera before everyone else. He likes to do those things. He video taped my sister, my brother, & I lip singing & jumping around. I was 3 or 4 years old. My folks didn’t have any money at the time so there wasn’t really any furniture. So they thought it would be fun to put some old mattresses in the living room for us to jump, wrestle, & tumble around on. So it’s us lip singing & jumping on mattresses. I’m so young I have no freaking idea what I was doing. My sister & brother tried to enact the actions from the music video. It was so much fun. My Daddy even up camera lights to stage it like a music video.
I will say this to TurdBoss one day.
It was one of those days that you didn’t want to do anything. Seriously I would get angry if I got a damn work email, im, or phone call, because I didn’t want to do anything. A lot of people are out of the office on vacation or business travel. So everything is pretty slow. Co-Worker#2 & I fucked around all day. We were Facebook stalking & blog stalking a couple of people that we know just to killed some time. We looked at houses. We made fun of Dancing Queen who wants to be Co-Worker#2’s friend. At least it’s not me. I swear DQ is a name dropper. I don’t know anything about the townies here. I’m part of the student group in many ways because of CockMaster. DQ was name dropping to me & I had a blank look on my face. She said to me they are millionaires. One I can’t imagine how many millionaires could possibly be in this county, but I also don’t give a flying fuck. Who the fuck cares? I know you must feel insecure, because you are temp. But Come On! Also why are you trying to be BFF with Co-Worker#2? Seriously asking her to come walking with you & putting your clothes right next to hers is freaking her out. Now Co-Worker#2 wishes she was the one to tell her to cool it with the perfume, because DQ isn’t trying to be my friend. So why don’t you go look for the “Save-As” button again & leave Co-Worker#2 & I alone when we are trying to kill time & shoot the shit.
I’ll leave Moooog35 to link a great picture of shooting the shit.
